dove

She's absolutely precious! Congrats to you and your wife! dove

Insert your favorite enemy's name for "blonde"... EXPOSURE A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!" DIETING A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from all that skipping." RIVER There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side." PULL OVER! A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" FINAL EXAM The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers." RANSOM There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde" She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

I had a really bizarre dream last night that I was trying to catch a flight and kept having problems. I was wearing a wraparound dress and no bra and they made me take it off to send it through the xray separately. Then when I got through I realized I forgot my drivers license so I had to go back and get it. When I came back through the line they made me take off my dress again. Then after I got my dress back on I realized I left my ticket when I went back to get my license so I had to run back and come back through the line again, and hence undress again. I was more annoyed that they kept doing it and at how stupid I was not to wear a bra that day! Hehe. Weird.

Yeah - money is never a problem when it is someone else's you're spending!

Well that explains it - I saw a freefly photo in a Parachutist from a year or two ago that said it was April Ashby and some other monkey. I was wondering how you got so good so fast! dove

Whew! Thanks Drew! I have been trying to get rid of those hiccups for a while now! dove *hic* (damn!)

Well - freefall collisions for one.

Chris.... pick me! Pick me! I wanna date! dove

I'd be real sad if I ever found out I kept my mother from living her life to the fullest. This ain't no dress rehearsal. Your kids will benefit from having a happy and fulfilled mom.

I remember a thread about skydiving and relationships last summer. I posted how lucky I was that my husband was so supportive of my skydiving. The divorce should be final late May/early June. dove

So what are you trying to say?

Lisa - sounds like this guy is pretty attracted to you too. You might not have to do anything but say "yes" when he invites you to dinner on Monday! dove

Yes! Me too! I've made jumps with lots of guys with AD #'s and don't understand why I can't do everything like they do! It's frustrating... but it's also funny as shit!!!! Instead of bumming yourself out over it all after an awesome day at the dz - look at the brightside: at least you'll never learn all there is and be bored! Skydiving will always be an exciting challenge with new stuff to learn! dove P.S. Come freefly with me Carrie - that'll make you feel better!

How about poop chute? The original lovie dovie love dove

Sangiro that is HILARIOUS! Can I use that?! So funny! Love the visual it conjurs up! dove

Hey sweet AndyMan! Yup - doing ok down here. A bit cramped - but cozy! Hey - how do you like it when I rub you THIS way? Andy's dove

Move in with me! dove

Hi Michele! That is awesome that the cells aren't cancerous - and you don't even have to lose your currency. I know things will work out for you. They HAVE to. You're just to cool to have to go through any more hardships. With all the craziness that my life has presented me in the last year I keep thinking of that saying "God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle - I just wish he didn't trust me so much." Lots of love and smiles and healing vibes your way girl! Love, dove

"Did he just stick his tongue in my mouth? Hmmmmm - headdown tongue. I like it!" And on a headdown jump in Florida where it was snowing heavily at altitude but beautiful on the ground, "Hey! That snow looks cool collecting on his shoulders!" Oh - I miss the air! dove

I know a super hot skydiver that goes to A&M.... be still my heart! dove

I've never seen anyone doing drugs at any dz. But they always have these weird little cigarettes that smell kinda skunky....

I'll send you all the positive healing vibes I've got and I've got lots! Rest assured this is a common surgery (almost as common as ACL) and you should be up and running in no time. I don't think you'll even have to go through the non-weight bearing thing I had. Good luck! dove

So THAT'S what happened!

Wow! I already have a penny, a nickel and a quarter. That dime would complete my collection. I'm in! dove

If you're getting the vibe from her she won't care HOW you ask her as long as you DO! dove